Avatar: Bender's Tale
by Metropolis Kid
Summary: Avatar and Futurama Crossover. The Gaang meets the galaxies greatest bender. Hilarity ensues as worlds collide. Please R&R. Thanks
1. Chapter 1: A Falling Star

Avatar: Bender's Tale

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar or Futurama. Duh!

I was looking through some Avatar fan art one day and I saw a picture of the Gaang talking to Bender from Futurama. In the picture the Gaang was debating on whether or not Bender could teach Aang anything about bending. Bender said that for five hundred bucks he'd teach Aang how to bend puppies. Maybe I'm a little sick, but I thought this was hilarious. So I got to thinking about what it would be like if Bender was in an episode of Avatar. The following were some of the ideas that popped into my head. Please R&R. Short ideas about benders dialog would be appreciated. P.S. This takes place during season 1 between The Fortuneteller and The Water Bending Master. The only paring I'm planning on is some Zatara near the end.

Chapter 1: A Falling Star

It was late at night. Aang, Katara and Sokka were lying on the ground looking up at the stars when they noticed that one of the stars seamed to be getting closer to them. Closer and closer it came until it passed right over their heads that and smashed into a nearby small hill.

Aang "Cool! A falling star. Let's go check it out."

Sokka "Did anyone else hear something as it passed by?"

Katara "Yeah. What was that?"

Sokka "It sounded like it was saying 'Ass'."

Katara "Sokka! You shouldn't talk like that."

"But I was just repeating what the star said."

"Right, I'm sure the star can talk, and it likes to swear."

Aang "Come on everybody, lets go."

The group go to were the star crashed. There is a flaming trail leading into the ground and a figure resembling a man crawls out of the crater.

Katara "O my word. It wasn't a star it was a person."

Sokka "Don't be silly no person could have survived that. Which means that it must be a ghost. Ahhhhhhhh!"

The figure stands up and says, "Hello losers. It's me, Bender. I'm the galaxies greatest bender and I'm here to wow you meatbags with my awesomeness."

Cue the Futurama theme. (What? You didn't think that Bender could be in an episode of Avatar did you? The censures would never allow it. But the Avatar world in an episode of Futurama is totally do-able.)

Sokka "So you're the greatest bender?"

"Yup."

Aang "Great there's so much I can learn from you. What element do you bend?"

"Mostly derivatives of Fe and C."

Katara "What?"

"Fe and C. You know, steel."

Aang has a big look of admiration on his face. "So you're a metal bender. That's so cool. I can tell that I'm going to learn a lot from you."

Bender pulls out a cigar and starts smoking it. He pulls Aang in and says, "Stick with me kid and I'll teach you how to bend all sorts of stuff: laws, rules, people."

Katara "I don't think that Aang should learn to bend any of those things."

"Yeah? Well you can Bite My Shinny Metal Ass."

Sokka "You can't talk to my sister like that!"

Bender turns to Aang and says, "Lesson number one kid. Don't let any jerks tell you what you can and can't do." Bender blows a puff of smoke in Sokka's face. "Watch carefully Mac." Then turns back to Katara and says, "Bite My Shinny Metal Ass."

"That does it. Come on Sokka and Aang, were leaving this Bender were he is."

The other two follow Katara a short distance. Bender starts yelling, "Fine, I don't need you! I'll start my own group! With Blackjack and Hookers. In fact, forget the Blackjack."

Once Sokka, Aang and Katara are a short distance away, Aang turns to Katara. "I don't know, Katara. I think we hurt his feelings, and I really need to learn more about bending. If he can teach me I think we should let him come with us."

Katara "Aang, He's not a good influence."

"I know. But I need the training."

"Okay." the three turn around and walk back to Bender.

"I knew you guys would be back. People just can't stand being away from the Bender."

Katara ignores the robot's rudeness and politely introduces herself. "I'm Katara."

"Yeah, Good for you." The others introduce them selves and get their own versions of the same response. Then the whole group pile on Aapa and head to town to pick up some supplies.


	2. Chapter 2: Haggling and Fire Bending

Chapter 2: Haggling and Fire Bending

I was able to finish one more chapter over the weekend. Hope you enjoy, and as always: Please, read and review. Thanks

The Gaang get into town. Sokka counts up their money and says, "All right, we only have three copper pieces left, and we need meat, bread, yarn, soap and a new cooking pot."

Katara "How are we going to buy all that with only three copper coins?"

Bender "Let me handle it. I'm a great haggler."

Sokka "I don't know if that's a good idea."

Aang "Come on, let him try."

Sokka "Katara, what do you think."

Katara "I don't see how else, we can get the stuff we need."

Sokka hands bender the money (making one of the biggest mistakes of his life) and says, "All right. Just get as much of the stuff as you can."

Bender "Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it. You guys stay out here. The Bender's going into action." Bender enters the store and comes back out ten minuets later-carrying a sack. "All right meatbags, I've got everything we need right here." Bender sets the sack down.

Katara "Wow! That was quick. You must be a good haggler."

"I'm the best, sweetcheeks."

"Sweetcheeks?"

Aang, "Katara, let it go. He just got us a really good deal."

Katara grumbles, "Fine."

Sokka "Enough talk. I'm hungry why don't you toss me a piece of meat."

Bender "Sorry, There wasn't enough money for the meat. Would've been a waist anyway. Look around there's meat everywhere-cats, dogs, mice, people. It's all over the place."

Sokka "What! We can't eat those things."

Bender "No? Then you can Bite My Shinny Metal Ass."

Sokka "That's it." He grabs his whale tooth club. "I'm going to teach this guy a lesson."

"Bring it on. Mr. Ponytail." Bender gets into a boxing stance.

Aang gets between the two. "Fighting never solves anything."

"But he told me to bite his butt."

Bender interrupts, "That's Shiny Metal Ass, meatbag."

Sokka, "See? He's just asking for a fight."

"Sokka you need to calm down. The monks use to say that it takes more strength not to fight." (They're all dead now. A lot of good those kind of phillosphies did them, Huh?)

Katara "Aang's right. If there wasn't enough money for meat you can have a piece of bread."

Bender "Only if he fishes it out of one of the trash cans."

Katara "Wait you didn't get any bread either."

Bender "Nope. And I didn't get any of that other sissy stuff either."

Sokka "Then what did you spend our money on?"

Bender "The only thing you need in Life." Bender opens up the sack and reveals servile bottles. "Hard liquor."

Katara "Great, now what are we supposed to do."

Bender, "You can do all kinds of things with liquor."

Sokka "Name two."

Bender "Well, you can drink it. Dumbass. And you can do this." Bender opens up his chest compartment and pulls out cigar. He lights the cigar, opens a bottle and takes a belt. Then Bender says, "Watch this." Bender burps out the liquor and lets it with his cigar. A huge flam shoots from his mouth.

Aang "That's so cool. Can I try?"

Bender hands Aang the cigar and bottle. "Knock your self out kid." Aang takes a belt, and tries to emulate Bender.

Katara "Aang, wait, don't."

Aang fails miserably. He can't get much of the liquor back up and ends up burning his lips with the cigar. Bender starts laughing hysterically. "Ah, just keep practicing. You'll get it kid."

Katara "No. You've already hurt yourself once. Don't do it again."

Bender leans down and whispers, "Who's this? Your mother? What is she going to burp you and change your diapers too?"

Katara "I'm not Aang's mother. I'm his friend, and he knows that I only want what's best for him."

Aang "Yeah, I think Katara's right. Sorry Bender." Aang hands Bender back the bottle and cigar.

Bender "Fine man you are. I bet your friend wouldn't let a women boss him around."

Sokka "No way."

Bender "See. We're men and we don't have listen to any women."

Sokka "Yeah!"

Bender "See. He'll learn the trick." Bender gives Sokka the bottle and cigar.

Sokka "Huh?"

Katara "Sokka don't you dare. You saw what happened to Aang."

Sokka wasn't going to do it; but when his sister told him not to, he changed his mind. He wasn't going to let his sister boss him around. "You're not the boss of me." Sokka took a big belt and attempted Bender's trick. Sokka didn't make it either, but at lest he was careful not to burn himself. However, he did hate the taste of the Liquor.

Katara "Okay you've both tried it. Are you done now?"

Bender putts his arm around Sokka "No way. My boy's going to practice till he gets it, Right?"

Sokka "Well???"

Bender "What, your not going to chicken out too. Are you? I thought you were a real man."

Sokka "Of course not." He takes another belt. His face turns green.

Bender pats Sokka on the back. "There you go. Just keep practicing until you get it."

Katara takes Aang aside and whispers, "I really think that we should continue without Bender. He keeps insulting us. He wasted what little money we had left. And he got you hurt."

Aang sighs, "Maybe you're right." They walk back over to Bender.

Sokka's behind them still practicing the trick. "You know this stuff doesn't taste so bad once you get used to it." Sokka takes another belt and manages to burp up enough of the liquor to shoot a small flame from his mouth. "I did it! Hey guys, I did it!" Sokka attempts the trick again and this time gets a decent flame out of his mouth. Of course by now he's completely drunk. He runs off and starts screaming, "Hey everybody, look at me! I'm a fire bender! I'm a fire bender!" (Not exactly the best thing to be doing in a free Earth Kingdom town.) It was only a mater of time before one of the earth bending guards heard Sokka and came to investigate.

Guard "So you're a fire bender huh? You look like you're from the Water Tribe."

Drunk Sokka "What? Hic. No. Hic. I is a fire Hic. Bender. Watch." Sokka takes a big gulp from the bottle and passes out. The Guard arrests him for public drunkenness and underage drinking.

Back to Katara, Aang and Bender. Aang "So you see, we just think that it might be better if we went our own ways." Aang lets out a nervous laugh.

Bender, "Oh I see! You meatbags are to good to travel with a ro-bot."

Aang "What's a ro-bot?"

Bender "I'm a robot, Mac; and you're a racist."

Katara "Racist? You wasted all our money!"

Bender "Pah, is that all? I can fix that in a jiffy. Wait here." Bender walks away.

Aang "Well if he can get the money back, I guess there's no real harm done. Right Katara? Katara?" Aang turned to see Katara just looking around. He taped her on the shoulder.

Katara turns around. "What?"

Aang a little hurt "Katara, I was talking to you."

Katara "Sorry, Aang. I was just looking for Sokka. Where could he be?"

Latter, Bender is thrown into Sokka's cell. The impact of Benders metal body on the stone floor made enough noise to wake Sokka up. Hung over Sokka "Not so loud. I've got a horrible headache."

Bender "Sokka? So that's were you went."

Sokka "Bender, what are you in for?"

Bender "Some rich guy accused me of steeling his money bag."

Sokka cuts in "You stole someone's money bag."

Bender "Of course not! Anyway this rich guy's saying that I stole his money bag. I tried to get out of there, but he's holding my legs and screaming for a guard. So I started hitting him with this money bag I found, and a guard comes over and arrests me for assault and robbery. I'll tell you there's no justice anymore."


	3. Chapter 3: Escape

Chapter 3: Escape and Kidnapping.

Sokka "This is all your fault!"

Bender "My fault? Oh I see! Blame the robot for everything. Typical flesh pod, never taking responsibility for your own mistakes."

Sokka "My mistakes. You bought the liquor!"

Bender "Yah well, you drank it."

Sokka "I didn't know it contained alcohol!"

Bender "What'd you think it contained, fairy dust?"

Sokka "How would I know? I'm only sixteen, and I grew up on an iceberg."

Bender "Ah, Bite My…"

Sokka interrupts "Shinny metal ass. I know. I know."

Bender "Hey Mac, quit stealing my lines. Besides this is not a problem."

Sokka "Were in jail! How is this not a problem?"

Bender "Pah, I've been in jail plenty of times…"

Sokka cuts in "Why am I not surprised?"

Bender "Do you mind? I'm talking here. Now, as I was saying; before I was so ruuudely interrupted. I've been in jail plenty of times and all you have to do is break out."

Sokka "Yeah right. And just how are we supposed to do that?"

Bender puts his arm around Sokka and says, "Like this." Bender's other arm telescopes out and punches a hole through the back of the cell. One of the guards hears the commotion and comes to check on it. He sees the hole in the cell.

Guard "Hey you, stop."

Bender "Oh no, It's the fuzz. Run for it." Bender starts running and Sokka follows. They run though the streets until they literally bump into Aang and Katara.

Aang "Sokka, We've been worried about you. Where have you been?"

Sokka "I was in jail."

Katara "Jail?"

Sokka "It's a long story."

Bender "Tell her later. We've got to jet."

Katara "Jet? Where?"

Bender "I don't know, anywhere. As long as we get away from the guards, I'm not too particular. Although, it would be nice to go somewhere with expensive loot." Bender does his criminal laugh.

Katara "I don't understand. What does any of that have to do with Jet? Did you meet him in prison? Did someone finally catch him?"

Bend whispers into Sokka's ear, "I think you sister's lost it."

Sokka "Well, she did have a bad experience with Jet."

Bender "Oh great, It's contagious."

The Guards catch up. "There they are. Get them."

Bender "Run for it!"

Aang "Wait, maybe I can reason with them."

Bender loudly "Great plan. You go do that."

Aang goes over to the guards. One of the guards says, "Step aside. Those people are escaped prisoners."

Aang "Wait, I'm the Avatar and those are my friends. Well, one of them is a friend; the other I'm not so sure about. But anyway, can't we work this out?"

Aang and the guards are still talking. Bender whispers to Sokka and Katara. "So we use the bald kid as a distraction and sneak away. Right?"

Katara "We could never do that to Aang. He's our friend."

Bender "Ah, friends are for people who can't afford dogs."

Sokka "Well since you used up all our money, we can't afford a dog."

Bender opens up his chest and pulls out a little dog. He hands it to Sokka. "Here. Now can we go?"

Katara comes over and starts to pet the dog. "Oh, so cute. Aren't you a cute little doggy? Yes you are. Yes you are." Then she turns to Bender. "Where'd you get the dog."

Bender "I swiped it from some rich guy-I think his name was Bong. No wait, Fong. Something like that. Anyway he said that he was buying a seeing eye dog for his blind daughter's birthday. The bozo paid twenty copper coins for the dog, so I figured that he might pay ten to get it back. I ran by and snatched it."

Katara "You're a horrible person. Do you know that? Steeling from a blind kid."

Bender "I'm a robot, not a person. And I didn't steel from the kid. I stole from her father."

Aang to the guards "So, we're all very sorry, and we promise to never do it again."

Guard "Well since you're the Avatar and no one was hurt, maybe we cold let it go. But you kids better stay out of trouble."

Aang "Oh, we will." Just then Mr. Bei Fong comes around the corner.

Mr. Bei Fong "That's him. That's the man who stole my daughter's seeing eye dog."

Blind daughter "I don't have a seeing eye dog."

Mr. Bei Fong "It was for your birthday."

Blind daughter sarcastically "Great. Just what I always wanted."

Mr. Bei Fong "Guards arrest them."

Guard "But he's the Avatar."

Mr. Bei Fong "I don't care. I'm the richest man in town. My taxes pay more than half your salaries, and I say arrest them."

Guards "Yes sir!"

Aang blows the guards back. "Run for it!"

The four start running through the streets. Bender "Wait, I forgot something."

Sokka "No time. Forget about it."

Bender "I already did. That's why I have to go back, genius. Besides, it won't take long. I'll meat you back at the big fluffy flying thing." Bender separates from the kids. The kids reach Aapa.

Sokka "Let's get out of here."

Aang. "Where's Bender?" The guards catch up.

Katara "We'll have to leave him. He was a bad influence anyway." The kids hop onto Aapa and begin to fly away.

Bender's telescoping arms reach out a grab Aapa just in time, and he's pulled along with the rest of the group. Once the Gaang is far enough away from the city that they're not worried about being followed, Aapa lands.

Bender "You were going to leave without me!"

Katara "You wanted to leave without Aang."

Bender "That's different. I'm Bender."

Katara "And Aang's the Avatar. I think he's a little bit more important. Don't you?"

Bender "Huh! Blasphemy! No one's more important then the Bender."

The argument would have lasted longer, but Katara noticed a knocking sound coming from Bender's chest.

Katara "What's that. You don't still have that pour dog locked up in there. Do you?"

Bender "Of course not."

Bender's chest "Let me out."

Bender hits his chest. "Shut up! You're making me look bad."

Sokka "You have a person in there?!"

Bender "No."

Bender's chest "Open up. Let me out."

Katara "LET WHOEVER IT IS OUT RIGHT NOW!!!"

Bender "Oh, alright. No need to make such a big deal about it. It's just a little person." Bender opens his chest and a twelve year old girl tumbles out."

Aang "It's the blind girl. From before."

Blind girl "My name's Toph. And you're all in big trouble."

Sokka "Why did you kidnap the blind girl?"

Bender "I thought her father would pay more for her than the dog."

(I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as good as the other two. Believe it or not, I worked on it a lot longer. It's been too long since I watched Futurama, and I've had a hard time thinking of new things for Bender to do. However, I just rented the new Futurama movie and I hope that watching it will help me with the next chapter. As always Please Review. I could really use some ideas about what bender should do. I was thinking in the next chapter, maybe he cooks something weird; and it has side-effects.)


	4. Chapter 4: A Girl Named Toph

Chapter 4: A Girl Named Toph

Toph stands up and enters her praying mantis pose. "Now you're all going to get it."

Bender sarcastically "Oh no. I'm so afraid." Bender starts laughing.

Katara "You already kidnapped her. Do you really need to make fun of her too?"

Bender stops laughing, and for a minuet. Katara thinks that she got through to him. However, Bender turns to her and says "Yes." Bender turns back to Toph. "Please don't hurt me little blind girl." Bender continues laughing.

Toph hurls huge bolder at Bender. Bender notices the bolder too late. "Huh." The bolder hits Bender and he's thrown back. Being a robot, Bender quickly recovers. "How'd she do that?"

Katara "She's an Earth Bender!"

Bender "A what?"

Katara "A person who can manipulate earth."

Sokka "How can she bend if she can't see?"

Toph "Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them." (Sorry, if that wasn't in character. I just couldn't resist the chance for a Star Wars quote, and no. I do not own Star Wars. Anyway, Back to the story.)

Aang puts up his hands and slowly walks toward Toph. "Just calm down. We're not going to hurt you."

Toph smiles innocently "Oh, I Know that." Toph's smile vanishes, and she angrily continues, "I'm going to hurt you." Toph stomps her foot. The ground underneath Aang explodes and sends him flying back.

Katara rushes to Aang and begins to heal him. She turns to Toph "Now, that wasn't nice. Aang was just trying to help."

Toph "Oh, really? Was I too though on your kidnapping boyfriend? Tell you what, sugar queen, why don't you run home to mommy, and cry on her shoulder. I know what you thought. 'Oh look at the helpless little blind girl. Let's snatch her and make a quick buck.'"

Katara "No one thought that."

Bender "I thought that."

Katara "Shut up. You're not helping."

Bender "Bite My Shinny Metal Ass." Toph throws another bolder at Bender. This time, Bender sees it in time. His legs expand and bend around the bolder. "Ah, is that the best you can do? I've know straws that can bend better than you."

Toph gets angry and keeps throwing rocks at Bender. Bend keeps dodging them. Bender laughs. "I could do this all day."

Toph "Hold still, so I can smash you." She throws more boulders.

Bender continues Bending himself around the boulders. Bender mockingly "What's wrong? Am I too flexible for the little blind meatbag?"

Toph "Arrr. When I hit you, you're going to be in sooo much pain." Sokka tries to sneak up behind Toph- while she's concentrating on Bender. Sokka gets close to Toph and is about to knock her out with his club when she moves the back of her hand up. A section of ground flips up in front of Sokka and hits him in the head. Sokka is knocked unconscious. "I see the vibrations you make in the earth. You can't sneak up on me."

Katara whispers to Aang. "Did you here that? She sees through earth bending."

Aang "So?"

Katara "So fly over there and knock her out."

Aang "I don't know. We're kind of the bad guys here. I don't feel right about hurting her."

Katara "I know, but we have to stop her. If we don't, someone could really get hurt."

Aang "Okaayy." Aang flies over and knocks Toph out. The Gaang ties her up so that she wont be able to bend when she wakes up.

Bender "Well now that, that's settled; why don't I whip us up some dinner?"

Katara "How? We don't have any food."

Bender uses his flaming burp trick to start a fire. "Arh, the woods are full of food. Just go out and bring back what you can find. I think I'll make a stew."

Katara "And how are you going to cook it? We don't have any cooking pot."

Bender "Don't be an idiot. Everyone knows that you smoke pot; you don't cook it."

Katara "What are you talking about? I mean we don't have anything to cook the stew in."

Bender "What about me?"

Katara sarcastically "You can't cook a stew in yourself?"

Bender unscrews his head and sits his body on the fire. "I'm the Bender baby. I can do anything I want. One time I made beer in my belly. You just go find some food." Bender's head starts to hum a tune.

Katara is more than happy to get spend some time away from the weird metal man who kidnaps people and takes his head off so he can cook a stew in his body. Katara walks by Aang. "I'm going to look for some food. Do you want to come?"

Aang "Actually I think that I'm going to stay here and wait until Toph wakes up. Maybe I can convince her that we're not her enemies."

Katara "Good idea. Maybe she'll even teach you some earth bending. She was pretty good it at."

Bender's head yells, "Just don't get too friendly with the hostage. We might have to lop off a couple of pieces before her father will pay."

Aang "That's disgusting!"

Bender's head "Relax. I'm only kidding." Whispers "Or am I?" evil laugh.

Katara "He really is a horrible person."

Bender's head "Robot!"

Katara leaves. Servile hours later Toph wakes up. Toph weakly "Ah, What happened."

Aang "Sorry, but we had to stop you before you really hurt someone."

Toph "Now I remember. You guys kidnapped me!" Toph tries to move only to discover that her hands and feet are tied up. "Let me Go!"

Aang "We will. As soon as it gets dark Aapa and I are going to take you back to town and untie you."

Bender's head "Hey! She's my hostage. Go get your own, baldy."

Aang "She's not your hostage. She a person and we're going to let her go."

Bender "Ah, you flesh wads always stick together. It makes me sick."

Toph "What, my dad paid the ransom already?"

Aang "No. That is, we don't want any ransom."

Bender "I do."

Aang "Alright, most of us don't want any ransom. And I apologize for all of this. We didn't know that Bender was going to kidnap you."

Toph "Well, it wasn't all bad. At least it got me away from my parents for awhile."

Aang "You're having problems with your parents?"

Toph "I don't want to talk about it."

Aang "But maybe we can…"

Toph "Look, twinkle toes, I said that I don't want to talk about it!"

Aang "Okay, Okay."

Toph "Good."

Aang "Do you mind if I ask you an unrelated question?"

Toph "You just did."

Aang "I mean another unrelated question."

Toph "Why not? It's not like I have much to do, tied up and all."

Aang "Oh, sorry about that. I'll untie you if you promise not to attack us again." Toph nods her head. Aang unties her, and she sits up.

Toph "That's better. What's your question?"

Aang "I was just wondering, were you learned to bend like that? It was amazing."

Toph "Oh, some badger moles taught me."

Aang "You're kidding right?"

Toph "Nope. They taught me how to see through the earth and how to bend it."

Aang "Do you think you could teach me?"

Toph "Are you an earth bender?"

Aang "Kind of. I'm the Avatar."

Toph "Really? Were have you been for the last hundred years?"

Aang "It's a long story. But I'm here now and I have to learn everything I can about bending-so I can defeat the Fire Lord and save the world."

Toph "No pressure huh? Sure I'll teach you a few things come on."

Aang and Toph head of to practice earth bending. Bender's head yells out, "Sure leave the robot all alone." grumbles "No one on this team appreciates me."

Sokka wakes up and comes over to were the fire is. He sees Bender's body sitting on the flame and Bender's head resting on the ground. Bender "What are you staring at, Mac?" Sokka faints.

( Sorry about this chapter not being as funny as the others. Most of it was spent introducing Toph, but since the shows used two episodes I don't feel too bad. Anyway, the next Chapter will be funnier. Wait till you see what Bender puts into the stew. PS To answer Mof 13's question: I think that I'll have Fry and Lela make a cameo; but since it'll be at the end, I don't think that they'll mess up the story.)


	5. Chapter 5: Stew

Chapter 5: Stew

Aang and Toph return from their bending lesson. Aang looks like he's just made love to an rockslide. Toph doesn't have a mark on her.

Toph "You are, without a doubt, the worst earth bender I've ever not seen" (She's blind remember?) "I though the Avatar was supposed to be good."

Aang "Well maybe if you had talked to me, instead of pelting me with rocks, I would've done better."

Toph "That was to toughen you up. You're too much of a mammy pambe."

Bender loudly clears his throat. (He's back together now.) The two look over at him. Bender is also taping his foot. "About time you two came back. The stew's getting cold." There are individual bowls of stew for everyone.

Sokka "Don't be mad at them. Aang's got to practice his bending, if he's going to be able to beat the Fire Lord."

Bender "Oh I see. I go though all the trouble of fixing this wonderful stew, but just because baldy's got to save the world, no one cares if it gets cold."

Katara "That's right."

Bender turns to Katara "You know I'm getting sick of your attitude, little miss goody goody. Ever since I joined this group, You've been trying to ditch me; and you don't appreciate anything I do for the team."

Katara "What have you done for the team?"

Bender "I busted your bother out of prison, found Aang an earth bending teacher and slaved for hours to make this delicious stew. And did you ever once thank me? No." Sniff, Sniff.

Katara starts to feel bad. She feels like she might of really hurt Benders' feelings. She goes over and starts patting him on the back. "Now, Now. I'm sorry if I've been ungrateful. You really have done a lot for the team."

Bender "You're not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?"

Katara said, "No, of course not." (Even though she was.) Katara pats Bender's back again. "Are you okay, now?"

Bender "Well, could I have a hug?"

Katara "Okay." She hugs Bender.

Bender "Thanks. This means a lot to me. You can stop now."

Katara pulls away. Aang says, "What happened to your necklace?" Katara looks down. "It's gone? But I just had it." She turns around and glares at Bender.

Bender "What?"

Katara "Give me back my necklace."

Bender "What makes you think that I have it?" Katara just continues to glare. "Oh all right. It probably wasn't worth much anyway." Bender hands Katara back her necklace. "Well, that solves the mystery of the missing necklace."

Katara "You made me feel sorry for you, and then you stole my necklace!"

Bender "Ah. All I did was teach you that when you let sympathy cloud your judgment, you get burned. You don't have to thank me."

Katara "Thank you!? Thank you!?"

Bender "You're welcome."

Katara "I hate you! You're nothing but a selfish jerk."

Bender "You better believe it, sister. That's why I'm the greatest, and you're all a bunch of losers. Well losers, eat up."

Everyone starts to eat their stew. Aang spits his second bite out. "There's meat in this!"

Bender "So?"

Aang "I don't eat meat."

Toph "You're a vegetarian? Explains a lot."

Bender to Aang "Well then, you can just Bite My Shinny Metal Ass."

Aang tries very hard to control his temper. "I'm going to go meditate for awhile."

Toph "Dibs on his stew."

Aang goes a few feet away and starts meditating. The others continue eating. When they're about half way done Katara say, "Something's bugging me." (From this point on everything said by Katara, Toph and Sokka is slurred. Sorry I didn't type it that way, but I wasn't sure how to do a drunk accent. I tried using a different font, to indicate the slurred words; but when I uploaded the document, the site unified the font.)

Bender "Who cares?"

Katara ignores Bender's insult and continues, "I didn't find any meat. Where did the meat come from?"

Bender "Ah, that white bat thing flew within reach of my body's extendable arms. Good thing to, I don't think I could have caught it otherwise. My body's pretty clumsy without a head. Anyways, I caught it, skinned it, killed it, pulled the meat of the bones and put it in the stew."

Sokka "Wait, White bat thing? You mean we're eating Momo?"

Aang was trying to meditate, but when he heard that he snapped out of his meditation. "What! You can't eat Momo!" Everyone kept eating the stew. "Everyone stop eating Momo."

Sokka "But he tastes so good. Momo stew, it's the Momoiest." (I ripped that of from The Desert episode, but I didn't think anyone would mind.) "Everyone bow before the mighty awesomeness of Momo stew."

Aang "What's wrong with you?"

Bender "Ah, he's probably drunk again. I used hard liquor instead of water when I made the stew."

Aang "What? You can't do that. It's not good for them."

Bender "Relax, baldy. The alcohol content in the bowls is at least 10 percent less than a lethal dose." By now everyone has finished their bowl of Momo stew.

Aang "Ten percent less then lethal? But Toph was going to eat mine too." Toph has Aang's bowl in her hands and is about to take her first bite. "Toph, No!" Aang blows the bowl out of her hands."

Toph "What happened? I could swear I just had a bowl of stew in my hands, and now it's gone."

Sokka "Boo who, You lost you're stew. At least you can bend. Do you know what it feels like to be the only non-bender on the team?"

Katara "Shss. Sokka, I've got a secret to tell you." Sokka comes over. Katara loudly continues, "Aang loves me." Katara giggles as she finishes, "But he doesn't stand a chance." Katara laughs.

Toph "I don't know. He looks pretty good to me." Toph smirks and says to Aang, "Why don't you come over here, you big hunk of Avatar and let your new earth bending teacher teach you a few moves." Toph licks her lips.

Aang just stands there with a sick look on his face. The woman he loves just shot him down and the tomboy he just met has made a drunken pass at him. Aang looks even sicker as he watches Toph puke from the alcohol.

Katara "Na, Aang's too much of a goody goody. I like my guys to be…" Katara runs her hands down the side of her body as she finishes. "bad boys."

Sokka "Why can't I bend? Everyone else gets to." Just then a Fire Nation ship pulls up to the bank of the lake.

Bender "Who're they?"

Aang "They're the bad guys. They want to throw me into prison."

Bender "Why? What'd you do, kill somebody?"

Aang "Everybody get ready. Fire benders are coming." Aang looks back to see his friends staggering around. "Oh no. Everyone's drunk except for Bender and me. How are we ever going to get out of this?"

Bender "Yup, we're boned."

(I hope you liked this chapter. I tried to make it funnier than the last. I'm planing on writting one or two more. As always, Please REVIEW. Next Chapter, Zatara with a drunk Katara chasing a frightened Zuko. P.S. to answer Mof 13's question: My theory is that Bender has a spatial distortion in his chest compartment. That is the only way I can explain his abillity to store a three and a half foot gun in there, like he did in the movie.)


	6. Chapter 6: Zutara

Chapter 6: Zutara

Zuko yells from the shore, "Okay Avatar, surrender and no one gets hurt."

Toph turns to Katara. "Who's that?"

Katara "A real bad boy." She licks her lips

Aang looks at his friends. They're still drunk. Aang hollers back, "If I surrender you'll let them go?"

Zuko answers, "You have my word."

Sokka "No Aang, don't do it! I can handle them." Sokka gets up from the ground and starts to head over to the fire benders.

Aang "No Sokka, you're in no condition to fight."

Sokka "I'll show you who's not in no condition to fight." He shakes off Aang's grip, and falls over. He picks himself back up. "I meant to do that." He stagers over to Bender. "Give me some liquor and a cigar." Bender opens up his chest and pulls out both.

He hands them to Sokka. "Make me proud kid."

Sokka takes the items. "Don't worry. He's sooo goin down."

Katara (in background) smirks. "Hmm, he could go down on me anytime."

Sokka "Stop talkin like that! Zuko's the enemy." Sokka stagers up to Zuko. "I'll bet you think you're pretty badass, don't you? Well, I've got a surprise for you. I'm a Fire Bender too." Sokka nearly falls. He reaches out and grabs Zuko's shoulder to support himself. Then he continues, "And I'm better than you could ever hope to be."

Zuko "Somehow, I highly doubt that."

Sokka "Yeah, well watch this." He takes a swing from his bottle and uses the trick Bender taught him to blow a stream of fire from his mouth. Zuko is surprised by the display, but he still manages to jerk away from the blast. When Zuko jumps away, Sokka loses his support and falls to the ground. This time he hits his head and slips into unconsciousness.

Aang sarcastically "Thanks Sokka, that was really helpful."

Katara "Okay, now it's my turn; and I know just how to deal with that bad fire bending prince." Katara sashays over to Zuko. Zuko raises his fists and prepares to fight. He wasn't going to be caught off guard again, especially by someone who could actually bend.

Katara innocently "Ah you don't really want to fight me, do you?" Katara continues to move closer to Zuko. She isn't in a bending pose, so Zuko doesn't attack her. However, he watches her carefully so that he'll be ready if she tries anything.

Zuko "No. What I want is to capture the Avatar and restore my honor."

Katara moves still closer. Zuko finds himself staring at her swaying hips, and he doesn't know why. (He's been stuck on a navy ship, surrounded by nothing but men since he was thirteen. So he doesn't have much experience dealing with feminine whiles.) The site is distracting and it's making Zuko feel uneasy. Katara says, "I'll bet I could make you forget all about that."

Zuko "I'll never forget about my Honor!"

Katara is right next to Zuko now. "Oh, I think you will." Zuko is again surprised as Katara wraps her arms around him and places her lips on his. Katara's tongue pushes in between Zuko lips. She runs her tongue across his. Zuko doesn't think. He just reacts to the shock by pushing her away. Katara falls backwards and lands on her ass.

Zuko "What's wrong with you!"

Katara has a mischievous smile across her face. "So you like it a little rough, huh?" She stands back up and coos, "You really are a bad boy aren't you? Come here."

A part of Zuko wants to go to Katara. He remembers how good the kiss felt and his pants suddenly feel far to tight. That scare and confuses him even more than the kiss did. "YYouu'rre crazy. stay away from me." Zuko takes off and starts running though the woods.

Katara follows after Zuko, enjoying the reversal of their usually roles. As the sound of their footsteps fade, you can hear Katara yell, "Don't you want to tie me to a tree again? We can have a lot more fun this time."

The ship captain turns to Iroh. "Should we help him?"

Iroh "No. The girl wont hurt him, and I think that this might turn out to be a good experience for my nephew."

The captain "Okay, we'll concentrate on capturing the Avatar. Men advance, but remember we want him alive."

The Fire Benders begin to near the gaang. Bender turns to Aang. "What's the plan?"

Aang "I don't know. Sokka usually comes up with those."

Bender looks at Sokka's unconscious body. "I don't think he's going to be much help."

Aang "And Katara ran off after Zuko." Aang gags as he thinks about that.

Toph stagers up. "Don't worry you still have me." She gets into her fighting pose and raise a boulder. However the even the tiny exertion cased by that action is enough to make the small girl puke again. As she pukes the boulder crashes back to the ground.

Aang whispers "I don't think we can count on too much from Toph."

Bender "What we, meatbag? You're in this one by yourself."

Aang "You can't just desert us now!"

Bender "Ah, Bite My Shinny Metal Ass. I'm looking out for numero uno." He starts to walk towards the fire benders and says, "Hey guys I'm not with them. I'm just a humble robot out for a stroll." The Fire Benders obviously don't believe him and one of them hits him with a fire blast. The fire doesn't harm Bender's metal body, however the blast does knock him back.

But just when all hope seems lost, a big green space ship appears in the sky. It starts strafing the ground between Bender and the Fire Benders. If Aang could hear inside the ship's turret, he would hear a young man imitating shooting sounds as he blasts away at the ground.

Some were in the woods Zuko is still running from Katara when he trips over an exposed root and falls over. Katara catches up to him. She turns his body so that he's facing up, then she straddles him. She kisses him again. Zuko resists at first, but after a moment he gives in. As soon as he relents, Katara brakes the kiss. This leaves Zuko even more confused. He was finally giving her what she wanted. Why would she stop.

Katara brings her mouth up to his ear and whispers, "Now tell me. Who do you really want? The Avatar?" She licks his ear, and a strange feeling overwhelms Zuko's body. If he had to describe it he would call it a full body hunger. Katara finishes, "Or me?"

Zuko's response is quiet and strained-his mind so over come with teenage hormones that he can barley think at all. "What Avatar?"

Katara knew that she had him. She smirked and cooed "Good answer." Katara ran her hands across her body as she continued, "Now, my Big Bad Prince, lets do some very bad things."

(Well I promised Zutara in the first chapter, and I've finally delivered. I hope I did a good job. This was the first Zatara I've written. I'm still pretty new to the whole fan fiction thing. I hope this was acceptable material for a T rated fic. Everyone still had their clothes on by the end of the fic, so I think it was. If not, let me know. I can always up the rating. Next chapter more Fire Benders show up. Aang meets the crew of the planet express ship and Bender kicks but!-maybe. Glad to see that people are still reviewing.

P.S. I'm sorry that Bender wasn't in this chapter as much as the others. I plan to use the Futurama cast a lot more in the next one.

To Mof 13: Great Idea about Lord Nibbler, not so sure about Zoidberg, but I'll try to work him in.

To Jesa182: Sorry about not having any interaction between Bender and Zuko, but he kind of had his hands full with Katara.

To Avatar Jesse: I'm glad that you're laughing. They say it's the best medicine, although you seem to be in a lot of pain in your reviews. What do you do if the medicine is what's hurting you, anyways?)


	7. Chapter 7: The Gang's all Here

Chapter 7: The Gang's all Here.

Extended Disclaimer: I also don't own "Why Can't we be Friends" and "Kung-Fu Fighting"

After nearly being shot by the flying ship, the fire benders have retreated to the shore line. They haven't left, but they are holding their ground and have given up trying to advance on their enemy.

The green ship lands. A stair case descends out of the front section. A young man in a red jacket and a one eyed woman exit the ship. (Incase you don't already know it's Fry and Leela.)

Fry "Bender! We've been looking all over for you."

Bender "You guys just left me floating through space."

Leela "We had a delivery to make, and you really should stop sleeping in the torpedo tube." Just then three more Fire Nation ships show up. They begin to unload more fire benders on the beach. Admiral Zhao steps out of one of the ships.

Aang "Just great, now Zhao's here."

Fry "Who are they?"

Bender "Fire something or other. They're after Baldy."

Fry "Really? Why?"

Aang "Because I'm the Avatar and I'm trying to bring peace back to the world."

Fry "Phhts. Is that all? Let me show you how it's done." Fry turns to the fire benders. "Come on now If there's one thing that dancing purple dinosaurs taught me before I was frozen for a thousand years, (That that Aang. Fry was frozen ten times as long.) It's that everyone just needs a friend. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?" Fry starts dancing while he continues. The fire benders just stare at each other. "Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Ouhh! The color of your skin don't matter to me. As long as we can live in harmony. Everybody now. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?" Finally Zhao gets fed up. He hits Fry with a fire blast, and knocks him back.

Leela "Fry!"

Bender "Wuggles?"

Leela rushes over to Fry. "He needs a doctor."

Zoidberg sticks his head out of the ship. "Did somebody call for a Doctor." He rushes over to Fry.

Bender "Is my little buddy going to be okay?"

Zoidberg "I don't know. He's got a bad case of freezer burn. I just don't know."

The fire benders have been advancing. Aang gets into a fighting stance, but he doesn't like his odds against this many fire benders. Bender comes up behind him and puts a hand on Aang's shoulder. "I'll handle this."

Aang "Are you sure? There are a lot of them."

Bender "They hurt Wuggles." Bender rolls up the outer casing on his arms and Aang can tell that he's really upset about his friend. Aang steps back. Bender faces the fire benders. "Alright now, you guys are pendin for a bendin." Kung-fu Fighting started playing from Bender's built in stereo.

Everybody was kung-fu fighting. Those cats were fast as lightning. Five fire benders rush Bender. In fact it was a little bit frightening. But they fought with expert timing. One of Bender's arms telescopes out and knocks them out. They were funky China men from funky Chinatown. They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down. Two more fire benders are knocked out, one by an uppercut and the other by a downward blow. It's an ancient Chinese art and everybody knew their part. From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip. Bender moon walks a short distance, and then he raises his leg. Bender's foot telescopes out and trips three more fire benders. Everybody was kung-fu fighting. Bender leaps into a bunch of fire benders. He head buts one guy and karate chops another. Those cats were fast as lightning. In fact it was a little bit frightening. Benders torso spins like a top and a dozen more fire benders fall before his swinging arms. But they fought with expert timing.

Aang winces at the violence. Zhao and his remaining fire benders retreat. Bender stands atop a pile of defeated fire benders. "Oh Yah. Taught you a lesson. I'm the galaxy's greatest bender and don't you forget it.

Zoidberg "Good news! I used some Torgo's Executive Powder and Fry's going to be okay."

Bender "What? Yeah, sure. Whatever."

Zoidberg "What? I thought I'd be a hero. Ohhhhhhh." A depressed Zoidberg reenters the ship. Nibbler gets out when the door opens.

After Zoidberg leaves Bender's face lights up. "Fry's going to be okay." He whispers to himself. Just then Zuko and Katara come back. Their clothes are completely disheveled and they have ridiculously large grins plastered across their faces.

Iroh says, "Well I guess we had better be going too."

Zuko "Actually I've decided to stay."

Katara sees Nibbler. She picks him up. "Aren't you just a cute little…" There is a brief pause while Katara tries to figure out just what Nibbler is. Katara eventually gives up and continues, "Whatever you are? Yes you are. Yes you are." Katara begins to make around with Nibbler in her arms.

Iroh "Zuko, are you sure?"

Zuko looks at Katara who is playing with the fuzzy little creature. "Oh, Yeah."

Iroh "But what about your father?"

Zuko "If my father really cared about me he wouldn't have challenged me to an Agni Kai when I was thirteen."

A few tears of joy run down the side of Iroh's face. "This is the happiest day of my life." He grabs Zuko in a bear hug. "I have been waiting years for you to figure that out. My little Zuko has become a man."

Zuko waves goodbye to his uncle while he and his crew sail away.

The rest of the Gaang are saying goodbye to Bender as he boards his space ship.

Aang, "Well things certainly have been weird with you on the team, but I guess they haven't been all bad."

Leela, "Has anyone seen Nibbler?"

Fry "There he is." Nibbler is standing next to Appa. Appa growls. Nibbler opens his impossibly large mouth and swallow Appa whole. He burps up the saddle. Aang snaps. He grabs his glider and takes off after Iroh's ship. "Wait! Take me with you."

Fry puts his hand on Bender's shoulder. "Well buddy, I don't think they're ever going to forget you."

Bender happily "Really?" Bender normal "Well that's two planets down. Next stop Earth." Leela walks into the ship. Fry and Nibbler follow. Bender does his evil laugh, and then enters last.

(I'm sorry that it took me so long to finish. I've been having some real world problems. Nothing too serious, but more than enough to slow down my writing. Anyway I hope you liked it. Please Review. Thanks. To Mof 13 I managed a small Zoidberg camo for you. Hope you enjoyed. P.S. I hope I got Fry's nick name right. As far as I know it was only used in the penguin episode and I wasn't sure on the spelling.)


	8. Not a Chapter Just an FYI

Just a quick piece of information. I've started a semi-sequel to this story. It's called Good and Bad News for Azula. Bender's not in it (He's headed back to Earth remeber?), but he will be mentioned as will some of his antics.


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